"Yes, But... I Want to Be Thin - the biggest block to intuitive eating"

Intuitive eating makes so much sense in theory. Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full, and trust your body to regulate itself without the need for restrictive diets or food rules. It sounds freeing, even revolutionary.

Yet, for many people, there’s a lingering hesitation.

"Yes, but… I still want to be thin."

This thought is the biggest roadblock preventing many from fully embracing intuitive eating. The idea of abandoning diet culture is terrifying when society has drilled into us that thinness equals beauty, health, and success. It’s no wonder so many people feel stuck—torn between the promise of food freedom and the deeply ingrained desire to shrink their bodies.

So why is it so hard to let go of the thin ideal? And more importantly, why is it not only unnecessary but also unrealistic to hold onto?

The Thin Ideal: Why We Believe It Matters

From an early age, we’re bombarded with the message that being thin is the ultimate goal. It’s everywhere—magazines, films, social media, advertisements, and even doctors’ offices. The assumption is simple: thin equals healthy, thin equals attractive, thin equals disciplined.

This belief isn’t just cultural; it’s deeply personal. Many of us have spent years, if not decades, striving for thinness—through diets, intense exercise, calorie counting, or even self-punishment. It becomes part of our identity. Letting go of the pursuit of weight loss feels like giving up, like failing.

But the reality is far more complex. The thin ideal isn’t just an impossible standard for most people—it’s also not the golden ticket to health and happiness that we’ve been led to believe.

The Problem with the Pursuit of Thinness

1. Most Bodies Aren’t Meant to Be Thin

Our bodies have a natural set point—a weight range that they will fight to maintain through biological mechanisms like hunger signals, metabolism adjustments, and energy expenditure. For many, that set point is not at the ultra-lean, low-body-fat level promoted by diet culture.

Trying to maintain a weight lower than what our bodies are comfortable with often means chronic dieting, food obsession, and a slowed metabolism. This explains why diets fail for 95% of people long-term: the body simply resists sustained weight loss beyond its natural range.

If being ultra-thin was a matter of willpower alone, wouldn’t every dieter succeed? The fact that dieting almost always leads to regain (and often additional weight gain) proves that our bodies are not designed for extreme leanness.

2. Thinness Doesn’t Equal Health

One of the biggest myths is that being thin is synonymous with being healthy. But research consistently shows that health is not determined by weight alone.

A person in a larger body who exercises, eats a balanced diet, and manages stress can be far healthier than someone in a smaller body who eats poorly and is sedentary. Cardiovascular fitness, muscle strength, blood sugar regulation, and mental well-being are all far better indicators of health than weight alone.

The medical system, unfortunately, has long equated thinness with good health and excess weight with disease. But weight stigma itself has been shown to harm health, causing stress, disordered eating, and even avoidance of medical care.

3. The Emotional Toll of Chasing Thinness

The desire to be thin isn’t just about health—it’s often about self-worth. Many of us equate our value with how closely we match the societal ideal. But the relentless pursuit of weight loss comes at a cost:

• Food obsession: Thinking about food all the time, tracking every calorie, and feeling guilty for eating "bad" foods.

• Exercise as punishment: Moving the body not for joy or strength, but to "earn" food or burn off calories.

• Social isolation: Skipping meals, avoiding events, or feeling anxious about eating in front of others.

• Mental exhaustion: The constant cycle of dieting, failing, restarting, and feeling like a failure.

Letting go of thinness means letting go of these stressors, but it also means grieving the identity and security that dieting once provided. That’s why it’s so difficult.

So, What Now? Shifting the Focus

If the thin ideal is unrealistic and unnecessary, how do we start to truly let it go?

1. Recognise That Thinness Won’t Magically Change Your Life

Many of us attach hopes and dreams to thinness:"When I lose weight, I’ll finally be confident.""I’ll be more attractive, more successful, more loved."

But real life doesn’t work that way. Confidence, happiness, and self-worth don’t come from a number on the scales. The sooner we recognise that weight loss isn’t a magic solution, the sooner we can start building self-worth beyond our appearance.

2. Shift to a Health-First Approach

If true well-being is about more than weight, then health practices should focus on behaviours rather than body size. Instead of asking, “How can I lose weight?” ask:

• How can I move my body in a way that feels good?

• What foods make me feel energised and satisfied?

• How can I reduce stress and improve sleep?

• What habits contribute to my mental and emotional well-being?

Focusing on habits rather than weight allows for sustainable, enjoyable changes—without the pressure of constant body monitoring.

3. Challenge Internalised Fatphobia

The fear of weight gain and desire to be thin are deeply tied to fatphobia—society’s discrimination against larger bodies. We’ve been taught that being fat is undesirable, unhealthy, and something to be avoided at all costs. But much of this is rooted in misinformation and societal bias.

Challenging these beliefs means:

• Diversifying your social media feed with body-diverse influencers.

• Learning about weight-neutral health approaches (like Health at Every Size).

• Calling out diet talk and weight stigma when you see it.

• Practising self-compassion and affirming that your worth isn’t tied to your weight.

  
  

4. Embrace Intuitive Eating, Even When It’s Hard

Intuitive eating means tuning into your hunger, fullness, and satisfaction cues—not external diet rules. But fully embracing it requires trust. It requires rejecting the diet mentality and accepting that weight may fluctuate.

It’s normal to struggle with letting go of thinness. It’s normal to feel fear, doubt, and resistance. But intuitive eating provides something diets never could: peace with food and body. Over time, this peace outweighs the anxiety of chasing an unattainable ideal.

Final Thoughts: Are You Ready to Let Go?

Letting go of the thin ideal isn’t just about rejecting diet culture—it’s about reclaiming your life. It’s about breaking free from the cycle of guilt, restriction, and self-judgement. It’s about allowing yourself to live fully, without the constant burden of trying to be smaller.

The desire to be thin won’t disappear overnight. But questioning it, challenging it, and shifting focus to self-care instead of self-control is the first step towards true food freedom.

So, the question is: Are you ready to let go?

Need Help Letting Go of the Thin-Ideal?

Unblocking you from diet culture is key to leading a life free from the effort of contorlling your eating and letting your body do it for you. Contact Alison at The Appetite Club now and try intuitive eating counselling can give you a brand-new outlook on life and appetite.