How to Feel Better and be Healthier - not just “look better”

For most of us, appearance and health feel inseparable. When we think about improving our health, we often imagine a thinner, fitter, more "ideal" version of ourselves. When people lose weight, they’re often told, “You look amazing! You must be so healthy now!”—as if the two are automatically and inextricably linked.

But are they really?

Do you know how to feel better?

The truth is, health and appearance are not the same thing. The belief that looking a certain way means you are healthier—and vice versa—is a direct result of diet culture, societal bias and flawed science. While your body’s outward appearance can sometimes reflect aspects of your health, it is far from the full picture.

Yet, separating these two concepts is incredibly difficult. Why? Because from childhood, we have been taught that health and beauty are one and the same.

In this article, we’ll explore:

• Why health and appearance feel so intertwined

• How this belief leads to harm

• Why weight and body shape are unreliable health markers

• How to redefine health without focusing on appearance

  
  

If you’ve ever struggled to see yourself as healthy because you don’t look like society’s version of “healthy,” this is for you.

1. Why It’s So Hard to Separate Health from Appearance

From an early age, we are bombarded with messages telling us that being thin = being healthy and being fat = being unhealthy. These beliefs come from media, healthcare, fitness culture and even well-meaning family members.

1.1 The Influence of Diet Culture

Diet culture thrives on the idea that your health is visible—that a lean, toned body represents peak well-being. It pushes the narrative that if you eat "clean" and exercise enough, you will look a certain way. If you don’t, you must be unhealthy.

But diet culture ignores a crucial truth: people’s bodies respond differently to food, exercise, and lifestyle changes.Genetics, medical conditions, stress levels, and many other factors influence both weight and health in ways we cannot control.

1.2 The Media’s Unrealistic Representation of "Health"

Look at any advertisement for health and wellness products, and what do you see? Lean, athletic bodies, glowing skin, and perfectly portioned meals.

Health is almost never depicted in larger bodies. Even when discussing fitness, strength, or mental well-being, the visual representation of "healthy" is always slim, toned and conventionally attractive.

This reinforces the idea that if you don’t look a certain way, you must not be healthy—even if your blood-work, energy levels and physical well-being say otherwise.

1.3 The Medical System’s Bias Toward Thinness

Many doctors and healthcare providers equate weight loss with improved health, often without properly evaluating individual health markers.

People in larger bodies frequently report:

• Having their symptoms ignored or blamed on weight

• Being prescribed weight loss instead of actual treatment

• Feeling shamed in medical settings, leading to avoidance of care

At the same time, thin people are often assumed to be healthy, even if they have serious underlying conditions. This bias can cause misdiagnoses, untreated illnesses, and a distorted view of what true health looks like.

2. The Problem with Judging Health by Appearance

2.1 Weight and Body Size Are Unreliable Health Markers

While extreme weight loss or gain can sometimes signal underlying health issues, body size alone tells us very little about someone’s actual health.

People in all body sizes can experience:

✔️ High or low blood pressure

✔️ Strong or weak cardiovascular health

✔️ Nutrient deficiencies

✔️ Good or poor mental health

A person in a larger body who exercises regularly, eats a balanced diet, and manages stress can be much healthier than someone in a smaller body who eats poorly, never moves, and struggles with chronic stress.

2.2 The Impact of Weight Cycling (Yo-Yo Dieting)

Many people associate weight loss with improved health, but few consider the long-term effects of weight cycling (yo-yo dieting).

Repeatedly losing and gaining weight due to unsustainable diets is associated with:

⚠️ Increased risk of heart disease

⚠️ Slower metabolism

⚠️ Higher levels of inflammation

⚠️ Mental distress and disordered eating

In contrast, maintaining a stable weight, even if it is higher than the so-called "ideal," is often healthier than constantly dieting and regaining weight.

3. How to Feel Better - Redefining Health Beyond Appearance

If weight and body size aren’t the best indicators of health, then how should we measure it? The key is to shift the focus away from external appearance and towards sustainable, holistic well-being.

Here’s how to feel better:

3.1 Focus on How You Feel, Not How You Look

Instead of asking:

❌ “Do I look healthy?”

Ask:

✅ “Do I feel energised?”

✅ “Am I sleeping well?”

✅ “Am I managing stress effectively?”

✅ “Do I enjoy movement?”

Your body’s signals—not society’s expectations—are the best indicators of true health.

3.2 Embrace Weight-Neutral Health Practices

Weight-inclusive healthcare focuses on behaviours rather than numbers on the scale. This approach, often called Health at Every Size (HAES), promotes:

🌱 Eating in a way that supports well-being, not restriction

🚶 Moving in ways that feel enjoyable, not punishing

🧠 Prioritising mental health as much as physical health

Health should be about what you do, not how you look.

3.3 Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Health is deeply individual. The same habits that make one person thrive might not work for another.

Instead of measuring yourself against unrealistic body standards, embrace what makes your body feel good.

3.4 Challenge Internalised Bias Around Weight

If you struggle with equating thinness with health, take time to reflect:

• Where did you first learn this belief?

• Who benefits from you believing it?

• What does health actually mean to you?

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The more you question and unlearn these biases, the easier it becomes to separate appearance from well-being.

Final Thoughts: You Are More Than Your Appearance

Your body is not a problem to be fixed. It is not a reflection of your discipline, self-worth, or moral value. And most importantly, it is not the sole indicator of your health.

By learning to separate health from appearance, you can:

💡 Stop obsessing over weight and focus on true well-being

💡 Improve your relationship with food and exercise

💡 Feel more confident in your body—exactly as it is

True health isn’t about looking a certain way. It’s about feeling good, living well, and taking care of yourself in a way that is sustainable, kind, and freeing.

Are you ready to redefine what health means to you? 💛

More Help reframing your evaluation of yourself and your health.

Contact The Appetite Club now to see how intutive eating encompasses many philosophical changes in thinking like this.